WIZARDS SEEKING HUNK
Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2022 3:29 pm
You are walking by a local library when you notice a piece of parchment nailed to a nearby telephone pole.
To whom it may concern,
Wizards are very soft and very mortal. We have powers that stretch the laws of causality and bend the planes together to meet in places of our choosing, but we do not have the powers of standing in one spot and being hit really hard a lot of times in a row. We admit this only because we are exceedingly humble.
The Mages' Council is always recruiting, our doors always open. However, in this particular instance we would like to emphasize a preference for physically inclined magical adepts. Perhaps, for example, a Nexus Champion of sturdy constitution who is willing to get beat up very badly on behalf of their nerdier friends.
What's in it for you? Well. Take a seat, friend. The benefits of associating with the Council are innumerable:
-First and foremost, we are pioneers in the field of extraplanar adventures. We consistently find ourselves embroiled in any shenanigans that touch upon breaking the barriers of reality and attempting to escape into new realms.
-By comparison, your bulk and physique will be EXTREMELY NOTICEABLE. If you don't stand out in your current setting, just imagine being surrounded by a cadre of reedy scholars who can't lift anything heavier than a wand.
-You will have as much logistical support as you can stand, and a bit more on top of that
-Location, Location, Location! We choose stronghold sites based on a pathological desire to be as far from other people as possible, and as close to natural beauty as possible. Lakeside, mountain top, deep forest, you name it! If you like the outdoors, you'll like our placement.
-A feeling of belonging. We *need* you. We get beat up a lot and can't do much about it. Want to get treated like a hero? This is it, pal.
If you're interested, you may either think very loudly about joining us (our empaths may catch on) or come apply in person. Just wander as far from society as you can get and start looking for towers. You can't miss it.
Signed,
Members of The Mages Council
To whom it may concern,
Wizards are very soft and very mortal. We have powers that stretch the laws of causality and bend the planes together to meet in places of our choosing, but we do not have the powers of standing in one spot and being hit really hard a lot of times in a row. We admit this only because we are exceedingly humble.
The Mages' Council is always recruiting, our doors always open. However, in this particular instance we would like to emphasize a preference for physically inclined magical adepts. Perhaps, for example, a Nexus Champion of sturdy constitution who is willing to get beat up very badly on behalf of their nerdier friends.
What's in it for you? Well. Take a seat, friend. The benefits of associating with the Council are innumerable:
-First and foremost, we are pioneers in the field of extraplanar adventures. We consistently find ourselves embroiled in any shenanigans that touch upon breaking the barriers of reality and attempting to escape into new realms.
-By comparison, your bulk and physique will be EXTREMELY NOTICEABLE. If you don't stand out in your current setting, just imagine being surrounded by a cadre of reedy scholars who can't lift anything heavier than a wand.
-You will have as much logistical support as you can stand, and a bit more on top of that
-Location, Location, Location! We choose stronghold sites based on a pathological desire to be as far from other people as possible, and as close to natural beauty as possible. Lakeside, mountain top, deep forest, you name it! If you like the outdoors, you'll like our placement.
-A feeling of belonging. We *need* you. We get beat up a lot and can't do much about it. Want to get treated like a hero? This is it, pal.
If you're interested, you may either think very loudly about joining us (our empaths may catch on) or come apply in person. Just wander as far from society as you can get and start looking for towers. You can't miss it.
Signed,
Members of The Mages Council