Return of the Skillz Police

[larvacea]

Quite a long time ago, in fact in a different game and universe altogether, jorm posted, saying "no one will force you to take the Advanced Thrown Weapons skill." I am sorry to report that the evidence so far supports this thesis. I am unaware of any character forced to take Advanced Thrown Weapons, in any breath of any game.

However! This has not and never will dissuade me from my diligent efforts to force you all to take the skill. However futile and ineffective the effort, the Skillz Police (Fred Dullard, proprietor) will never give up.

The Skillz Police also had a drown-proofing initiative that has proven to be even more futile than our Advanced Thrown Weapons campaign. It grieves me to report that the universe no longer allows you to avoid drowning through careful non-selection of the Swim skill. In a way, the Skillz Police campaign against Swim has succeeded so well that no character here has taken the skill, and indeed so well that the skill has been banished from the universe. For those who did not experience the joys of Old School Swim-Induced Drowning, one once had to take the skill in order to enter water tiles at all. So no skill, no water tiles, no drowning.

So rejoice, fellow inhabitants of this Nexus! The Skillz Police is back in business, and so far the evidence (crabs) is that I will be even less (crabs) able to enforce my Skillz Ordinances (crabs) than before. Crabs.

[Thenixon]

Spinosaurus hurls a bus at your head! He was hiding with 139 other players who've selected Advanced Thrown Weapons as an essential part of their meme arsenal! This attack was charged with bilious rage!

[larvacea]

Fred is both delighted and frustrated by the continued popularity of Advanced Thrown Weapons. Some doubted its utility early in Nexus War's development. So in a sense, since the Skillz Police are encouraging characters to take the skill, this popularity is gratifying. All the more gratifying when concerned citizens "arrest" Fred with a hurled bus, in fact.

On the other hand, this absolutely precludes Fred from forcing Spinosaurus (and possibly 139 others hiding nearby) to take the skill. So Fred apologizes in advance should any devotee of Advanced Thrown Weapons get caught in the blast once Fred acquires Explosive Murder. Fred is extremely incompetent, and has been since approximately the dawn of time. The person most likely to be killed by Fred is Fred (who has never taken the Advanced Thrown Weapons skill, not in multiple games and multiple breaths).

Right now and probably for some time to come, about all Fred can do is read a book in a provocative fashion at you. Fred does have the Ranged Weapons skill and a couple of rocks. Even small crabs do not fear Fred's mighty combat skills. Quite the reverse.

[larvacea]

While cyber-stalking himself, Fred found this from 2016, just to encourage everyone to murder Fred for his lack of Advanced Thrown Weapons:

- Fred Dullard said, "This is the best breath ever because I have been murdered by Bob Ross and his Advanced Thrown Weapons-powered Wing Shards. Just saying." (2016-05-24 06:06:20).
- Fred Dullard said, "Five stars, would be murdered again. Murdering arrived on time, and has given complete satisfaction." (2016-05-24 06:07:09).

[SkullFace]

Inquiring minds want to know where to find Fred Dullard?

[larvacea]

Well, that would be right at the top of Foolishly Answered Questions in this game, number one, most foolish. Now quite often the answer is that Fred is floating in the void amongst the planes, even though Fred did not answer this question. Some of you are murderous Fred-killers. I think you know who you are. Fred can't really object, since (as always) he does not have the Advanced Thrown Weapons skill.

Fred did throw a rock at a door today, in an extremely basic and not at all advanced fashion. It was not entirely satisfactory. The door survived Fred's vicious assault.

[larvacea]

I feel compelled to mention: crabs. Cursed, melee-pincering, non-advanced-thrown-weaponing, Fred-killing crabs. Curse them.

[larvacea]

In honor of the Ancient Writings, I am happy to say that Fred Dullard is hiding in the Convenient-Something-Store, because what are the odds that anyone would come to such a place and search for the Convenient Somethings, nor does Fred condone a world where people (other than Fred) have senses that might be enhanced for the better detection of hiding Freds. Those character points MUST be spent on Advanced Thrown Weapons, not Enhanced-Fred-Murdering. I mean. You do you. Some people can Very Unfairly get Enhanced Fred Murdering in T2, while Fred has to wait until T3 to get Enhanced Fred Is The Murderer For A Change He Hopes (but probably not, especially if Fred continues to hide in the Convenient-Something-Store).

[Freech]

Fred, you're the GOAT, for real.

If the art of the bullet pass has one fan in the entire Nexus, it's 'cause one of us didn't make it to the Breath.

Much respect to a legend--and never forget the crabs were an inside job.

-Darren Spears

[larvacea]

In the who-would-have-guessed department, Fred was not murdered in the Convenient-Ammunition-Store. Fred was murdered elsewhere. Several elsewheres. Perhaps Fred should hide in the Convenient-Something-Store more often, though. Fred is an old stick-in-the-mud, and expected to encounter more seekers-after-ammunition. Kids today, eh? Still, kids today do still murder Fred with glee and efficiency, so go you, says Fred, I can’t argue with your results, though I might lament your choice of methods.