Lychwood walks out of the torture chamber/weight room, glimmering with blue Gatorade sweat.
"Hey guys, I think I'm about to Max."
Evie the barmaid looks up from her half-mixed dirty martini, bemused. "Max? Max what?"
"You know, Max darling. Hit the peak. Reach zenith. Realize your potential. In gerund, maxxing." He snatches up a grimy bar towel and dabs his forehead.
"So...you never get any stronger?" Evie appears genuine.
"Well, no. There's still room to grow."
"Then why do you call it--"
"LYCHWOOD! DO I SMELL SOMEONE ABOUT TO MAXXOUT??" The SUPREME HIMBO ENJOYER appears, carrying an entire bench cooler filled with soul ice on one shoulder. "YOU SLY DOG, YOU THOUGHT WE WOULDN'T NOTICE??"
The vampire smiles in response. "Well, no, actually--I was just in the middle of explaining the whole-"
"THIS CALLS FOR A PARTY!! TOMORROW??"
"Naturally, darling. Naturally."
Aiobhill and Evie share a sigh. The place had only just recovered from the last party. But the Winchester's Himbo/Bimbo contingent was incorrigible. Once the "P-word" was uttered, there was nothing for it but to batten the hatches and find somewhere to hold on. Usually Annie could at least bring direction to the chaos, but she was off on a plane somewhere. Already, Lychwood and the SUPREME HIMBO ENJOYER had begun a one-armed push up contest in anticipation. Lychwood was taking shots every 10 reps, taking it on ironclad faith as a performance enhancing technique.
Portia pokes her head out of the ventilation ducts, far above the rising din.
"Hey, does it smell like feathers to anyone?"
[Angel raiding noises]
_________
Not pictured: Survivors
_________
SCENE: The Void, time indeterminate
"So uh...all in favor of postponing the party?"
...
"The ayes have it, reschedule for Thursday in the Interplanar Brigades HQ."
________
SCENE: Interplanar Brigades's front porch, Thursday afternoon
Lychwood: *standing prematurely*
________
Comms:
________
________- The shadows here seem to distort and bend at eerie angles as a chill and eerily soft breeze passes through the area. (2022-05-25 22:03:12).
- Lychwood said, "hey, friend" (2022-05-25 22:04:04).
________
Already there indeed.
_________- Ghoul, belonging to Tequatl, attacked Sasic, killing them! Their corpse rises as a ghoul in the service of Tequatl! (2022-05-25 22:04:11).
- Tequatl said, "Hello! I heard there was a party happening?" (2022-05-25 22:04:18).
- Lychwood said, "Hey! There was indeed! I'm getting my wisdom teeth out and I wanted to say goodbye" (2022-05-25 22:04:58).
Panic! at The Downstairs Agreement:
________
Lychwood: *hands in pockets*
________
More revelers arrive:
- Casper Pillar said, "Sup." (2022-05-25 22:05:09).
- Lychwood said, "Just looking to mangle angle on my birthday" (2022-05-25 22:05:23).
- Evie the Barmaid said, "I hear the keg is in the Workshop!" (2022-05-25 22:05:33).
- SUPREME HIMBO ENJOYER was flying and has now landed. (2022-05-25 22:04:56).
- Aiobhill said, "Hiiii!" (2022-05-25 22:05:37).
- Aiobhill was flying and has now landed. (2022-05-25 22:05:41).
- Evie the Barmaid said, "Lets get wasted!" (2022-05-25 22:05:49).
- Portia Dean lurks in Lychwood's gigantic shadow. (2022-05-25 22:05:34).
- Lychwood said, "lets blow this joint" (2022-05-25 22:05:29).
- Lychwood said, "FLEX CITY, POPULATION: US" (2022-05-25 22:06:09).
The gracious hosts swiftly make their appearance:- Moishe from Accounting destroyed a Glyph of Slowing vs Evil protecting this location! (2022-05-25 22:04:39).
- Moishe from Accounting destroyed a Glyph of Protection vs Evil protecting this location! (2022-05-25 22:04:52).
- SUPREME HIMBO ENJOYER destroyed a ward protecting this location! (2022-05-25 22:05:54).
- You feel the joy of the heat of battle begin to wash over you and overwhelm your senses with Bloodlust. (2022-05-25 22:06:22).
- You step inside The Workshop. (2022-05-25 22:06:15).
- Lychwood said, "Hey kids!" (2022-05-25 22:06:29).
- SUPREME HIMBO ENJOYER said, "PARTY TIME!" (2022-05-25 22:06:15).
In short order, there was even karaoke:- Solor said, "Why hello there!" (2022-05-25 22:06:16).
- Casper Pillar said, "oh dear. you seem to be awake and not asleep." (2022-05-25 22:06:33).
However, angels being creatures of such...unnatural proclivities, they soon succumbed to their better nature and tried to put a stop to the proceedings before anyone started having anything resembling fun:- Allison Wolf sang a song charged with holy power. You take 26 points of holy damage. 126 characters and/or pets were affected by this attack. (2022-05-25 22:06:40).
- Solor unleashed a long howl. (2022-05-25 22:07:04).
- Solor summoned 5 Wolfs. (2022-05-25 22:07:04).
________- Ishild said, "Fight back against demonic oppression!" (2022-05-25 22:06:49).
- Lychwood of Avengers of Harmony Falls retrieved the faction standard of Avengers of Harmony Falls from this location. With a flash, the banner disappears. (2022-05-25 22:07:00).
- Casper Pillar said, "The ghost will not be denied!" (2022-05-25 22:07:24).
- Casper Pillar attacked Taako, a Male Foo Lion with a Teeth of the Damned , killing it! (2022-05-25 22:07:52).
- Aiobhill attacked Evening Star, a Male Foo Lion with a Teeth of the Damned , killing it! (2022-05-25 22:07:22).
- Lychwood attacked Male Foo Lion with a Battleaxe , killing it! (2022-05-25 22:07:52).
Like all good parties, it led to all out war.
Like all good wars, it led to fear and chaos.
________- Ishild said, "Your glyphs are no match for our lead poisoning!" (2022-05-25 22:07:54).
But all was not lost, for the party was just beginning:
What happened next? Well. Lychwood went...MAXIMUM.- Aiobhill emits a haunting, otherworldly wail that tears at your will to live and floods you with thoughts of despair. You were caught in the attack but managed to avoid injury. 36 characters and/or pets were affected by this attack. 2 pets were killed. (2022-05-25 22:08:35).
- Mo Gui, an Ancient Gremlin, belonging to Casper Pillar, attacked Allison Wolf, killing them! (2022-05-25 22:08:33).
- Colossal Dreadmaw, a Fossil Monstrosity, belonging to Tequatl, attacked Murph, killing them! (2022-05-25 22:09:05).
- Aiobhill destroyed the last of the fortifications protecting this area! (2022-05-25 22:08:23).
- Ghoul, belonging to Tequatl, attacked Virgil Firebrand, killing them! Their corpse rises as a ghoul in the service of Tequatl! (2022-05-25 22:09:37).
- Lychwood attacked Morning Star, a Female Foo Lion with a Battleaxe , killing it! (2022-05-25 22:08:15).
- Lychwood has levelled up! (2022-05-25 22:08:15).
- Lychwood has maxxed out! (2022-05-25 22:08:15).
- Evie the Barmaid said, "Wheres the bloody booze?" (2022-05-25 22:08:23).
- Evie the Barmaid said, "I would like to pour one for our wonderful Lychie" (2022-05-25 22:08:35).
- Lychwood said, "GUYS" (2022-05-25 22:08:29).
- Lychwood said, "I THINK I JUST HAD AN EMOTIONAL BREAKTHROUGH" (2022-05-25 22:08:38).
- Lychwood said, "NOW I'M PERMANENTLY MAD" (2022-05-25 22:08:43).
- Dragonite, a Judgemaster, belonging to ykl, was killed by a defensive aura projected by Lychwood! (2022-05-25 22:09:47).
- Reshiram, a Judgemaster, belonging to ykl, was killed by a defensive aura projected by Lychwood! (2022-05-25 22:09:51).
- Goodra, a Judgemaster, belonging to ykl, was killed by a defensive aura projected by Lychwood! (2022-05-25 22:09:53).
- Hydreigon, a Judgemaster, belonging to ykl, was killed by a defensive aura projected by Lychwood! (2022-05-25 22:09:55).
- Zekrom, a Judgemaster, belonging to ykl, was killed by a defensive aura projected by Lychwood! (2022-05-25 22:09:55).
- Entei, a Judgemaster, belonging to ykl, was killed by a defensive aura projected by Lychwood! (2022-05-25 22:09:56).
- Raikou, a Judgemaster, belonging to ykl, was killed by a defensive aura projected by Lychwood! (2022-05-25 22:09:56).
- Zapdos, a Judgemaster, belonging to ykl, was killed by a defensive aura projected by Lychwood! (2022-05-25 22:09:56).
- Articuno, a Judgemaster, belonging to ykl, was killed by a defensive aura projected by Lychwood! (2022-05-25 22:09:56).
- Salamence, a Judgemaster, belonging to ykl, was killed by a defensive aura projected by Lychwood! (2022-05-25 22:09:58).
- Kyurem, a Judgemaster, belonging to ykl, was killed by a defensive aura projected by Lychwood! (2022-05-25 22:09:58).
- Lychwood said, "THE JUICE IS LOOSE, IT'S ALL LOOSE NOW AND I'M READY TO RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE" (2022-05-25 22:10:27).
The party went wild, angels and demons fighting tooth and claw.
- Reficul said, "Who closes the door for visitors?" (2022-05-25 22:11:35).
- an inappropriate preposition, an Ember, belonging to Yagisan, was killed by a defensive aura projected by Reficul! (2022-05-25 22:10:10).
- Portia Dean, a Cirri, belonging to Yagisan, was killed by a defensive aura projected by Reficul! (2022-05-25 22:10:10).
- Reficul, a Cirri, belonging to Yagisan, was killed by a defensive aura projected by Reficul! (2022-05-25 22:10:10).
- Zata\'hur, an Ember, belonging to Yagisan, was killed by a defensive aura projected by Reficul! (2022-05-25 22:10:10).
- a veterinary nurse, an Ember, belonging to Yagisan, was killed by a defensive aura projected by Reficul! (2022-05-25 22:10:10).
- Owen Grady, a Cirri, belonging to Yagisan, was killed by a defensive aura projected by Reficul! (2022-05-25 22:10:10).
- Judgemaster, belonging to Amtherion, was killed by a defensive aura projected by SUPREME HIMBO ENJOYER! (2022-05-25 22:10:22).
- Kommo-o, a Judgemaster, belonging to ykl, was killed by a defensive aura projected by Reficul! (2022-05-25 22:10:29).
- Mewtwo, a Judgemaster, belonging to ykl, was killed by a defensive aura projected by Reficul! (2022-05-25 22:10:29).
- Suicune, a Judgemaster, belonging to ykl, was killed by a defensive aura projected by Reficul! (2022-05-25 22:10:29).
- Metagross, a Judgemaster, belonging to ykl, was killed by a defensive aura projected by Reficul! (2022-05-25 22:10:29).
- Tyranitar, a Judgemaster, belonging to ykl, was killed by a defensive aura projected by Reficul! (2022-05-25 22:10:34).
- Garchomp, a Judgemaster, belonging to ykl, was killed by a defensive aura projected by Reficul! (2022-05-25 22:10:34).
- an awkward kitten, a Salamander, belonging to Yagisan, was killed by a defensive aura projected by Reficul! (2022-05-25 22:10:34).
- Dragapult, a Judgemaster, belonging to ykl, was killed by a defensive aura projected by Reficul! (2022-05-25 22:10:34).
- Haxorus, a Judgemaster, belonging to ykl, was killed by a defensive aura projected by Reficul! (2022-05-25 22:10:34).
- Tadpole- A Tree climbing Catfish, an Ember, belonging to Yagisan, was killed by a defensive aura projected by Reficul! (2022-05-25
- SUPREME HIMBO ENJOYER attacked Shimmering Star, an Aethersprite with a HIMBO HAMMER, a Sledgehammer , killing it! (2022-05-25 22:10:34).
- Clodia attacked Abijah the Twice-named with an Acid Spittle , killing her! (2022-05-25 22:10:42).
- SubwayMaster, a Judgemaster, belonging to Piper, attacked Casper Pillar, killing them! (2022-05-25 22:10:43).
- Ghoul, belonging to Tequatl, attacked Distant Star, an Aethersprite, killing them! (2022-05-25 22:10:44).
- Wight, belonging to Altisidora, attacked Aiobhill, killing them! (2022-05-25 22:10:44).
Elsewhere in the fray, scores were settled:
- Ishild said, "Your void walker claws are no match for my tender flesh!" (2022-05-25 22:10:17).
- The form of Portia Dean seemed to warp and flicker for a moment before appearing to melt into the shadows. (2022-05-25 22:10:52).
- Portia Dean attacked Ishild with a Blood Claws , killing her! (2022-05-25 22:11:15).
Pets were falling nearly as quickly as they were summoned:
- Piper summoned 4 Aethersprites. (2022-05-25 22:11:05).
- Tentāculum Secundum, a Horrid Tentacle, belonging to Clodia, was killed by a defensive aura projected by TheGoof! (2022-05-25 22:10:53).
- Tequatl summoned a Ghoul. (2022-05-25 22:10:54).
- SubwayMaster, a Judgemaster, belonging to Piper, was killed by a defensive aura projected by Lychwood! (2022-05-25 22:10:54).
- NerfMaster, a Judgemaster, belonging to Piper, was killed by a defensive aura projected by Lychwood! (2022-05-25 22:10:54).
- YoyoMaster, a Judgemaster, belonging to Piper, was killed by a defensive aura projected by Lychwood! (2022-05-25 22:10:54).
- Tequatl summoned a Ghoul. (2022-05-25 22:10:55).
- Ghoul, belonging to Tequatl, was killed by a defensive aura projected by TheGoof! (2022-05-25 22:11:02).
- (4 times) Ghoul, belonging to Tequatl, was killed by a defensive aura projected by Virgil Firebrand! (2022-05-25 22:11:14).
The Brawlers and their plus ones fought ferociously for every inch of ground:
- SUPREME HIMBO ENJOYER attacked Kamael with a HIMBO HAMMER, a Sledgehammer , killing him! (2022-05-25 22:11:27).
- Clodia attacked Alexei Danilov with an Acid Spittle , killing him! (2022-05-25 22:11:36).
- Evie the Barmaid attacked Altisidora with a Blood Claws , killing her! (2022-05-25 22:12:01).
- Shlomit, from Marketing, a Necrophage, belonging to Moishe from Accounting, attacked Pussy Galore, killing them! (2022-05-25 22:12:22).
- Ezra, from R&D, a Necrophage, belonging to Moishe from Accounting, attacked Badar, killing them! (2022-05-25 22:12:32).
It took all of their strength. When it seemed the tide had turned for evil, the angels produced another surprise--darkening the doorway was the hulking form of a floating terror surrounded by its horde of familiars. The raiders and defenders both seemed frozen in horror as the creatures swarmed into the fray:
And that, friends, was a job for none other than a couple slabs of Grade A, 100% pure Harmony Falls Beef.
- Naiad, belonging to a floating terror, was killed by a defensive aura projected by SUPREME HIMBO ENJOYER! (2022-05-25 22:12:25).
- Golem, belonging to a floating terror, was killed by a defensive aura projected by Lychwood! (2022-05-25 22:12:32).
- Undine, belonging to a floating terror, was killed by a defensive aura projected by SUPREME HIMBO ENJOYER! (2022-05-25 22:12:38).
- Cirri, belonging to a floating terror, was killed by a defensive aura projected by SUPREME HIMBO ENJOYER! (2022-05-25 22:12:38).
- Hydrodragon, belonging to a floating terror, was killed by a defensive aura projected by Lychwood! (2022-05-25 22:12:41).
- Hurricane, belonging to a floating terror, was killed by a defensive aura projected by Lychwood! (2022-05-25 22:12:42).
- Sylph, belonging to a floating terror, was killed by a defensive aura projected by Lychwood! (2022-05-25 22:12:42).
- Undine, belonging to a floating terror, was killed by a defensive aura projected by SUPREME HIMBO ENJOYER! (2022-05-25 22:12:42).
- Sylph, belonging to a floating terror, was killed by a defensive aura projected by SUPREME HIMBO ENJOYER! (2022-05-25 22:12:42).
- Naiad, belonging to a floating terror, was killed by a defensive aura projected by Lychwood! (2022-05-25 22:12:42).
- Undine, belonging to a floating terror, was killed by a defensive aura projected by Lychwood! (2022-05-25 22:12:44).
- (2 times) Golem, belonging to a floating terror, was killed by a defensive aura projected by Lychwood! (2022-05-25 22:12:47).
- SUPREME HIMBO ENJOYER attacked a floating terror with a HIMBO HAMMER, a Sledgehammer , killing her! (2022-05-25 22:12:47).
From that point, it a knock down, drag-out brawl:
- Shlomo, from HR, a Necrophage, belonging to Moishe from Accounting, attacked Lil Red L, killing them! (2022-05-25 22:12:51).
- Shlomit, from Marketing, a Necrophage, belonging to Moishe from Accounting, attacked Yagisan, killing them! (2022-05-25 22:13:02).
- Shlomit, from Marketing, a Necrophage, belonging to Moishe from Accounting, attacked TheGoof, killing them! (2022-05-25 22:13:12).
- Shlomo, from HR, a Necrophage, belonging to Moishe from Accounting, attacked Angelica Aloe, killing them! (2022-05-25 22:13:22).
- Ghoul, belonging to Tequatl, attacked ykl, killing them! Their corpse rises as a ghoul in the service of Tequatl! (2022-05-25 22:13:23).
- Lychwood attacked The First Guardian with a Battleaxe , killing him! (2022-05-25 22:13:29).
- Shlomo, from HR, a Necrophage, belonging to Moishe from Accounting, attacked Amtherion, killing them! (2022-05-25 22:13:32).
- Wrackwyrm, belonging to Clodia, attacked Virgil Firebrand, killing them! (2022-05-25 22:13:52).
- Tequatl attacked Allison Wolf with a Watery Grave, a Death Touch , killing her! (2022-05-25 22:13:53).
- Shlomo, from HR, a Necrophage, belonging to Moishe from Accounting, attacked Axura, killing them! (2022-05-25 22:14:01).
- Orgasmatron attacked Tequatl with a Glacierblast spell , killing him! (2022-05-25 22:14:07).
- Moishe from Accounting attacked Justina with an Arctic Bolt spell , killing her! (2022-05-25 22:13:41).
- Reficul attacked a celestial cat with a Throwing Knife , killing her! (2022-05-25 22:14:20).
- The First Guardian attacked Portia Dean with a Tarnished Sword , killing her! (2022-05-25 22:14:30).
- Ezra, from R&D, a Necrophage, belonging to Moishe from Accounting, attacked William, killing them! (2022-05-25 22:14:31).
- The First Guardian attacked Evie the Barmaid with a Tarnished Sword , killing her! (2022-05-25 22:14:47).
- Lychwood said, "Hey...that wasn't nice" (2022-05-25 22:15:04).
- SUPREME HIMBO ENJOYER said, "THAT WAS UNCOOL!" (2022-05-25 22:15:11).
- Lychwood said, "The barmaid is only a wee thing" (2022-05-25 22:15:14).
- Shlomit, from Marketing, a Necrophage, belonging to Moishe from Accounting, attacked The First Guardian, killing them! (2022-05-25 22:15:51).
- Moishe from Accounting attacked Solor with an Arctic Bolt spell , killing her! (2022-05-25 22:15:23).
- Moishe from Accounting attacked Laurie with an Arctic Bolt spell , killing her! (2022-05-25 22:15:39).
- Moishe from Accounting attacked Piper with an Arctic Bolt spell , killing him! (2022-05-25 22:15:58).
Bloody, exhausted, the room littered with corpses, they were inches from the goal.
Only one final hiccup:
The himbos' ONE WEAKNESS, their terrible eyesight!! What will they do??
________
And with that:
Clinched it! PARTY ACCOMPLISHED! The drunken warriors stood back to survey the damage.- Shlomit, from Marketing, a Necrophage, belonging to Moishe from Accounting, attacked Orgasmatron, killing them! (2022-05-25 22:16:32).
- Reficul of Avengers of Harmony Falls grasped the unprotected faction standard of the faction claiming this location. With a low rumble, the magic of the location dissipates. (2022-05-25 22:16:39).
- SUPREME HIMBO ENJOYER said, "WE LOVE YOU LYCHY!" (2022-05-25 22:17:33).
- Lychwood said, "EVERYTHING I AM I OWE TO YOU PEOPLE!" (2022-05-25 22:18:08).
- Lychwood said, "YOU PICKED ME UP WHEN I WAS SCRAWNY AND FED ME PROTEIN" (2022-05-25 22:18:18).
- Lychwood said, "WHEN I COULDN'T CARRY THE WEIGHT, YOU SPOTTED ME" (2022-05-25 22:18:25).
- Lychwood said, "AND NOW I AM BIG. AND AS A BIG BOI IT IS MY JOB TO SPREAD THAT KINDNESS INTO THE HEARTS AND BRAIN CAVITIES OF ANYONE I MEET" (2022-05-25 22:18:45).
- Lychwood said, "I WILL CLEAVE KINDNESS INTO THEIR SKULLS!" (2022-05-25 22:19:06).
- You give your Bottle of Mead to SUPREME HIMBO ENJOYER. (2022-05-25 23:15:04).
- You give your Bottle of Vodka to Clodia. (2022-05-25 23:15:17).
- You say, "Cheers!" (2022-05-25 23:15:21).
